poemetry

so many things
i could do today.
so many options!
i could, of course, die.
not my first choice….

my tea
is about
three degrees
too cool
and that….

someday
i will not be tired.
i am not
looking forward
to that day….

i write with fear,
always with fear,
which is funny
since i only write
the words….

i have never been
a tough person.
i quit when things get hard.
i cry easily for myself.
i hide so i can pretend to be safe.

was that junior high cafeteria
really that big?
were there really that many kids
all looking at me,
all laughing at the sorry loser….

i opened my eyes
(at last)
and did not like
what i saw.
it got no better….

you never know
when you’ve going to write
the best thing you will ever write
in your whole life.
you never know….

i did not learn
as a child
how to be
healthy & strong,
my own person.

when did i become human?
when did i become this human?
not so long ago,
i was not me, as such;
just a blob of cells….

i climb up into the trees
to look around,
but i’m lost in this world.
there is safety up here,
but not for me.

the past
did a poor job
of being
the future
when it had….

late october:
cool, but a bike ride
is still enjoyable.
in a week or two
there’ll be rain….

i start my days
at the wrong end,
mornings
when i am tired
and have no idea….

so there i was,
bothering no one,
living my day quietly,
when all of a sudden,
and for no good reason….