there’s a fine line between
self-discipline
and
a commitment to doing something
because you mean it.
i was never forced
into the former
and never found
the latter.
my life has been
the half-assed variety,
and that only works
with sufficient wealth.
that, too, i have not had.
but it isn’t
the lack of wealth
or a career i miss;
it’s the giving a damn.
my heart seems to have
given up long ago.
i want to care enough
about something,
about anything,
to do
something,
anything;
but most days,
it’s all i can do
to breathe.