poemetry

being human
is tough;
no secret that.
we each feel,
i think….

the road to hell and all that;
i know. but,
before i can stand up
and move through this world
doing the things that matter to me….

as a good human being,
i’ve gotten my life all wrong.
human beings have gotten
almost everything wrong
since becoming civilized farmers….

my own private fantasy land
is the one place i long for.
this real world, so-called,
has only one promise i can depend on,
and certain death is the worst possible of selling points.

it seems kind of pointless
and more than a bit stupid
to blame my brain
for all my problems,
but there ya go.

at least the books i read
do me the grace
of allowing that,
while quite doable
(otherwise: why write the book?)

the science tells me
i see nothing
in this world;
i’m just a brain
in a skull….

realizing this morning
i am unsatisfied
with my life
as if this is a surprise.
of course i am….

i made the mistake
of opening myself up
to my own scrutiny.
i was not disgusted
by seeing myself….

transcendent moments
tear through life
like a bullet
through the brain.
what was…

i think it’s clear
my parents let me down
just as i
let my children down.
my mother went one direction….

even the good things
cause me pain.
i don’t handle life well,
so when things
are not good….

how selfish
do i have to be
to take care
of myself?
i’m not exactly….

“suffering is optional”
which sounds awesome
(yippee!)
until reminded
“pain is unavoidable”….

i failed myself
again today,
but that’s alright
because
“failed myself”…