the TABnet home page of doom

creating what i haven’t lived

I have not lived much of my life; for the most part, I have simply been carried along by circumstances. This has not been a good thing. What good has happened has been more by luck, or the compassion of others, than my own agency. I have been far more fortunate than skilled.

And that luck did not hold up. Not with anxiety and depression ever lurking to take me down.

This website represents, or re-presents, my attempt here in 2020 to live my life with intention. One year ago, I began a mindfulness meditation practice, and it has done me a world of good. Today, I have a new understanding about how I want to live my life, of how I intend to create my life. This is an experiment in self-creation through the things I love to do and the things that are meaningful to me. 

carpe bucko

wholeness

2019-06-26 0
When I was 14, I was a lonely person. My parents had divorced, I had one friend, no real social life. So when I was welcomed by the Wednesday night Bible study at my church one day, I fell into Christianity with the desperate need for something that we all feel
carpe bucko

love. bleah.

2019-06-17 0
Love needs to go away. Here in Pride Month, the day after Portland’s annual gasm of proud pridery, the message is loud and clear: Feel the love. All this support! all this love! Isn’t it wonderful? Yes, it is; it is wonderful to see so many Oregonians getting