the TABnet home page of doom

creating what i haven’t lived

I have not lived much of my life; for the most part, I have simply been carried along by circumstances. This has not been a good thing. What good has happened has been more by luck, or the compassion of others, than my own agency. I have been far more fortunate than skilled.

And that luck did not hold up. Not with anxiety and depression ever lurking to take me down.

This website represents, or re-presents, my attempt here in 2020 to live my life with intention. One year ago, I began a mindfulness meditation practice, and it has done me a world of good. Today, I have a new understanding about how I want to live my life, of how I intend to create my life. This is an experiment in self-creation through the things I love to do and the things that are meaningful to me. 


normal は、さよなら

2020-07-15 0
We’ve lived with a toxic “normal” for centuries. It hasn’t done us a lot of good. Now we face multiple threats to our existence. Thanks, normal.
carpe bucko

the moon

2020-06-30 0
John Green, on discovering the moon: I suppose I’d known moonlight existed, but somehow I had made it to adulthood without ever having a personal experience of it. And there was the world, lit by something that cannot shine light but still finds a way to share light. I

compassion: as simple as life itself

2020-06-24 0
What we are seeing in the current Black Lives Matter movement is a shift towards compassion, individually and collectively.

Failures of liberalism: humans

2020-06-17 1
Liberalism, as a political philosophy, is one of the best of human inventions. The problem has always been that it has had to be implemented by humans, and that means its imperfections will eventually surface and, unless sufficient steps are taken to address the resultant problems, the programs – and the
carpe bucko

despite that….

2020-06-16 0
Life is hard, then you die. So what? Man up & deal with it. If only it were that easy.
carpe bucko

willingness and perseverance

2020-05-25 0
Running away and hiding is, of course, the exact opposite of willingness and perseverance.
carpe bucko

value adding

2020-05-18 0
It’s not that I don’t have any values; I am simply unable to define them. Which means, for all practical purposes, I don’t have any functional values. This is a problem. Because I have been able to get consistent long-term mental health care through the VA, meeting

the fun of katakana

2020-03-11 0
I love the Japanese language for many reasons. Part of it no doubt stems from the weird way my brain works, while some is an appreciation for the way they’ve resolved certain language issues. Japanese does not have an alphabet in the way English does; no vowels (a, e,

enough of the fear

2020-03-02 0
Fearing a bad outcome is a terrible way to move forward in politics. Even with bad outcomes possible, I refuse to let fear control me; I’m committed to believing in my beliefs all the way.

back at it

2020-02-26 0
I used to run a lot. I also used to not run a lot. I have had a sporadic history with running, but, thanks to my mental health issues over the years, I have not maintained a consistent running practice. To add to the difficulties, I have had little fitness

2020 baseball is here at last

2020-02-19 0
I have never paid attention to off-season baseball the way I have done this year. Spring Training has never held my attention as does right now in its first few days. The reason for this unprecedented attention is simple: The Houston Astros getting away with cheating and stealing the 2017 World

capital vs wealth

2020-02-17 0
We call the United States a capitalist economy, but we’ve become a wealth-hoarding oligarchy. This is a failure of capitalism and a danger to our future.
carpe bucko

what i am

2020-02-14 0
When I was in kindergarten, I was sent to stand out in the hall for getting angry during some activity. I don’t believe I had a tantrum; I just got angry. Back then, a time-out was to be kicked-out. This is one of my earliest memories. A few years

genuine across the board

2020-01-29 0
this is my take on a meme going around recently (and apparently started by Dolly Parton). most likes i’ve ever gotten for something, about 200, but to be fair, that’s on a Warren FB page!
carpe bucko

something more

2020-01-28 0
As a former Christian turned atheist, I have a lot of stuff that continues to linger. Perhaps most useful, as compared to the crap dealing with being good, guilt, etc, is the question of spirituality. While I do believe that the universe is an entirely physical thing, not only are