Carpe Bucko

more than healing

Carpe Bucko started as a blog project and has continued on sporadically. At this point, it’s meant to describe my mental health journey. (I need to update that logo; I’ve recently come to understand that anxiety and not depression has been my life-long challenge. Depression has just been a delightful side effect.)

there is nothing to forgive

2021-09-28 0
“Forgive us our sins” is not something that one human should apply to another, but it’s a mental concept I’ve carried in my head for too long. Forgiving those who’ve hurt me is the wrong thing to do.

eight words

2021-09-17 0
10 words spoken thirty years ago changed one man’s life. His words on YouTube changed mine. Nothing magic in the words; they were just the right ones at the right time.

just sing, sing a song

2021-08-31 0
The brain kicks off habitual, emotional responses to negative incidents before the conscious brain can begin to figure out what’s going on. But even then, it’s not too late to avoid a bad ending. You just need to be prepared; here’s my strategy.

needs aren’t values

2021-08-30 0
Without an explicit understanding of what I valued in life – what I could do that meant something meaningful – I have lived my based on needs, desires, fear, anxiety, etc. Thanks to finally getting mental health counseling, this is changing.

this feeling

2021-08-04 0
I lived my life without knowing my own values, so it was easy to be judgmental as well as clueless. Mindfulness is helping me figure out how to be happy, not judgmental.

why your brain doesn’t work right

2021-07-27 0
Ten thousand years might seem like a long time, but it really isn’t. The Earth is over 4.5 billion years old. Humans have had almost no time to adjust to the radical change made in how our species lives. No wonder your brain doesn’t work right.


2021-05-04 0
I have a number of goals for my mental health and mindfulness work. Right now, I’m working on equanimity: being aware of when my buttons are getting pushed and not responding habitually but based on my values

the paradox of striving

2021-04-26 0
Mental health takes work. Mindfulness takes letting go of the desire to accomplish something. This is a troublesome mix of ideas, and it’ something people with a mindfulness practice struggle with. But an understanding of the paradox helps open a door to a life lived freely.

anxiety today

2021-04-23 0
The critical thing I’ve learned about my mental health in the past year or two is that my main problem isn’t depression; that’s just an added bonus. No, my real issue is anxiety, just like about one-quarter of the world (or probably more, here in the world

with ease

2021-01-01 0
Having a clear vision of the future and my path forward is not only not going to happen, it’s not really possible. What is possible is to accept that uncertainty, to accept the jumbled messes in my head, and to live with ease – not because my life is going

complete & whole

2020-12-07 0
Many mindfulness practices include the admonition to recognize yourself as “complete and whole”. For people with any number of mental or physical challenges, that does not make a lot of sense. I’m starting to get a bit of a grasp on the concept.


2020-11-30 0
Depression and anxiety put obstacles in front of life. With good mental health care and a solid mindfulness practice, these obstacles can be replaced with an understanding of how values lead to committed action.