june 14, 2017

bad choices
that screwed-up
my life
leave behind
a weight,
a burden
on my shoulders,
on my expectations
of myself
to not
just fix
the mess,
the residue
of failure;
to not
just do better,
never again fail,
but somehow
every day,
every moment,
be doing
something, anything
to justify
my existence.
that’s a
heavy burden.
that’s a
sad way
to live.
(call that living?
cuz i don’t.)
there is
no past,
not really.
just my
memories, flawed
and humiliated.
i create
the past
to punish
myself today.
what a waste.
what a loser.
there is,
of course,
only now,
right now,
only, forever
right now.
nothing else.
no-when else.
be here
right now.
stop punishing
yourself in
place of
the person
who failed
in the past
that is gone
beyond reach.
be alive.
live well.
be kind.